Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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