She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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