He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I need water and some morals
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