They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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