NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
