is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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