are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
