We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
