Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
