She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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