i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
