id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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