i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
