A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
