He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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