im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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