I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
