good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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