Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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