I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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