she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
