This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
