so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
