What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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