3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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