I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
