Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Randomize
