i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
