No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
