you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
