I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
