You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
