the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
