it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
