Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
