Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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