so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
