How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
