she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
