her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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