I got chris browned last night
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he high fived his dick after we had sex
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
