The panties match.
I'll be right there.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
