We got so high we made milksteak
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
