He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
