I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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