i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
