Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
