Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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