Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
