ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You were trust falling into bushes
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
